Diet Apps

Had a free night last night.  So I cuddled up on the couch with a heated-up rice bag and cruised the Android Market looking for useless apps.  (Zombie Run!)

I had no agenda.  I already downloaded the zombie app the night before.  So I mindlessly browsed the suggested apps at the top of the page.  There was one that caught my eye.  It was a diet app--it was free, so I downloaded it.  I thought that it might have some good recipes or workout plans...

I guess I had high expectations because as soon as I opened the app I was disappointed.  It had put every diet from the super lame Hollywood Diet to the infamous Grapefruit Diet on my phone.  It was basically an app for "Let's starve ourselves like crazy to lose 2.3 lbs in 4 days by eating teeny-tiny amounts of food and not exercising!"  Woo hoo!

I used one of my favorite apps, Shake 2 Uninstall (you shake your phone like crazy and the app that's running gets deleted!), to delete the diet app. 

Now there's some good exercise!

Home Cooking Tips

Home-cooking is a great way to lose weight and eat healthy.  You can cook at home with basic, whole food ingredients and have more control over what goes in your mouth.  Even something as simple as making your own chicken sauce (instead of using condensed cream of chicken soup) will save you calories, sodium, fat, and eliminate monosodium glutamate.  It will also taste fabulous.

Here are some other tips to remember:

1. Avoid dough that is sold in a tube.  That pop! is the sound of the button on your skinny jeans Wranglers popping off. 
2. Avoid cheese product.  Stick with cheese.
3. Don't buy foods with the word "Grandma" or a picture of a Grandma.  Your grandma didn't make it.
4. Frozen bagged mixed veggies aren't for poor folk.  Nope.  They're for skinny folk.  They're one of my fave convenience foods.
5. Eggs are cheap and healthy and good.  Buy lots.
6. Read ingredient lists like a love-sick vampire.  Make it an obsession.  My fave foods are ones without ingredient lists.
7. Make something amazing TONIGHT!!

Bariatric Surgery: From Size 26 to Size 6

Like it or not, the words fat and lazy typically go together.  When it comes to weight loss there's no room for an ounce of lazy.  It's all about being active, assertive, in control, and proactive. 

I guess that's why an ad for bariatric surgery that boasted "FROM SIZE 26 to SIZE 6" made me a little concerned.

First, no one I know has had those results.  Usually they go from a 26 to a size 16/18.  No shame in those numbers, but 26 to 6??  Really??

Second, bariatric surgery is an easy way out.  Where's the blood, sweat and tears?  Where's the guts and all the glory?  Where's the good feeling that comes from knowing that you came, you burned fat and conquered?

How do you feel about bariatric surgery?  Easy way out or viable option for major weight loss?

Today is Monday

I kinda love Mondays.  It's the day I typically go grocery shopping. 

Right now, our poor refrigerator is bare, save for some limp celery (such good intentions!) and enough milk to pour myself a 1/2 inch cup of milk.  Oh, and there's a whole bunch of bottles of salad dressing.

So, Mondays are a fabulous day to start over.  I can don my Donna Reed frock, slide on some heels, motor to the market and glide my grocery cart through the produce aisle thinking such virtuous thoughts as "Tonight we will have greens!" or "Apples give my skin that healthy glow!"

I love shopping for fruits and vegetables! 

I was just kidding about wearing a dress and heels to the grocery store.

What Foods Inspire You To Eat Better?

Some foods get you going on a downward spiral. 

For example, you eat a handful chips before 9am and you're all "Heck, I'm eating the whole can."  The downward spiral continues.  Your hygiene starts to become questionable--so does your grammar (gasp!).  It's the beginning of a downward spiral that affects your entire day.  You shamelessly create a WHAM! Pandora station, start stalking your 9th grade boyfriend via the USPS (because he can't FB from jail), and prowl Craigslist for old 80's concert tees from rock concerts that your mom wouldn't let you go to.

Other foods have the power to lift you up. 

You have a spinach salad for lunch and all of a sudden you can see more clearly without your glasses, you have uncommonly virtuous thoughts, and a choir of angels follows you around for the rest of the day.  You have found the strength to lift stranded vehicles off of train tracks, heal sick kittens and communicate with your MIL without tearing out any hair--hers or yours.  Wow.

Food has real power.  And it's power that comes from you.  You give food power.  For good or evil. 

Choose good.  Never evil.

What foods inspire you to eat better?

How to Make a Homemade Diet Shake to Lose Weight FAST!!!

Have you ever wanted to make your own Franken-drink to lose weight?  Why waste time eating a sustainably healthy diet with fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, and other "wonderful foods" when you could guzzle a fast drink to replace a pesky meal. 

I thought you might feel the same way, too.  Here is my knock-off version of a Slim Fast Shake.  Enjoy!!

Slim Fast Knockoff Drink

2 cups FAT FREE MILK
1/2 cup WATER
1/4 cup SUGAR
2 Tbs CANOLA OIL
1 Tbs GUM ARABIC
2 Tbs MILK PROTEIN CONCENTRATE
2 Tbs CELLULOSE GEL
1 1/2 Tbs HYDROGENATED SOYBEAN OIL
1 Tbs POTASSIUM PHOSPHATE
1 tsp. MONO AND DIGLYCERIDES
1 tsp. MALTODEXTRIN
1 tsp. SOY LECITHIN
1 tsp. CELLULOSE GUM
1 tsp. NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR
1 tsp.  CARRAGEENAN
1/2 tsp. SODIUM BICARBONATE
1/4 tsp. SOY PROTEIN ISOLATE
1/4 tsp. MODIFIED CORN STARCH
1/4 tsp. SODIUM CITRATE
1 tsp. SUCRALOSE 
1/2 tsp. ACESULFAME POTASSIUM
1/8 tsp. CARAMEL COLOR
1/2 tsp.CITRIC ACID
1/4 tsp.VITAMINS AND MINERALS

Blend in a centrifuge which was stolen temporarily borrowed with or without permission from the Max Delbrück High School for Science and Math.  

Drink with a smile, knowing that you're giving your body all the best.

Oatmeal and Blueberries for Breakfast

I'm not a morning person. Thank goodness for simple breakfasts that require zero brainpower.

I just scoop some regular oats into a bowl (maybe a 1/4 cup) and add water to cover them. Then I nuke it for 1:30 min. Then I add vanilla almond milk along with frozen blueberries.

It's a nice way to wake up...